Balancing Family/Kids

By request, this week’s topic is about how I manage to balance all my obligations, specifically family.  First, here is how my time is roughly allocated. ........

Teaching/coaching take up about 50 hrs/wk.  Track meets add an extra 7 hours per meet and we have a couple weeks with 3 of them.  Sleep is roughly another 50 hrs/wk.  Anything running related such as dressing, running, strength conditioning, and post-run amounts to another 15 hrs/wk.  Mealtime takes roughly 15/25/45 minutes at each meal or about 10 hrs/wk and the kids’ bedtime routine takes another 5 hrs/wk.  Obligations such as grocery shopping, commuting, and household chores (I help with laundry, toy pick-up, trash, and yard maintenance) add another 5 hrs/wk.

Still, this leaves 33 hours each week that are unaccounted.  During the week, this is usually 3-4 hours evenly split between awake kids and my wife Daphne.  Weekends have a more down time, roughly 7-8 hours each day.  We cherish these hours together.  Ironically, I am on Spring Break right now, but am 3-4 days behind posting my blog entry, which shows my commitment to my family.  Also, I am on a string of getting my daughter Natalie to laugh on five consecutive days and she is an extremely tough audience.

My family: Wife-Daphne, Son-Lincoln, Daughter-Natalie

So, how does it all work?  First, Daphne is extremely loving and understanding.  Even before our first date over ten years ago, she knew I was a runner.  Granted, her definition of runner has evolved over time as she came to understand what that truly encompasses in my world.  She is also one of my biggest fans and supporters.  Having your partner on-board is the most important consideration.

Secondly, we found a way to make it work so that Daphne can stay at home and raise our kids.  This frees up more of her time to make our house a home and she is amazing at it.  Instead of coming home after a long day of work and: trying to gather kids from daycare; make plans for dinner; and keep up with the house; that pressure is removed.  Daphne is able to juggle those things, at her pace, when the opportunity presents itself.  It is still a commanding job that she is amazing at.  She seeks out new and interesting activities for our kids, tries new recipes, and always has the house looking good.

At one of the many activities Daphne does to enrich the lives of our kids.

Next, both my mother and Daphne’s mother live nearby to help as needed.  Grandma D (Daphne’s mom) lives blocks away and is a great Mother-in-Law and Grandmother.  She is amazing with the kids and is able to offer extra help when my nights run long due to things such as track meets.

Grandma D with Lincoln.

Grandma D with Natalie.

My mom, Grandma C, lives about two hours away and is retired so she can help during the day if kids are sick or someone has an appointment.  There is no such thing as too much help and keeping good relationships is important too.

Grandma C with Lincoln.

Grandma C with Natalie.

Finally, personal sacrifice is key as well.  When my son Lincoln was born 15 weeks premature, he spent over 100 days in the hospital before he was healthy enough to come home.  I did not run a single mile for five straight months.  I left behind new 5k, 8k, and 10k PRs that I had ran less than two months before his birth.  Yet, I would not trade away a minute of the time I was able to spend with my wife and son in the hospital.  Those tremendous struggles bonded the three of us with an invincible seal.  Today, Lincoln is amazing and he too takes interest in running.

Tiny Lincoln in the NICU at about 4 weeks old.

Lincoln and I taking part in a "tot trot", "micro-mile", or "mini-dash" @ Run For the Roses.

When I returned to running, I had slowed by more than 20 seconds per mile.  It took more than 18 months to return my fitness back to where I had started.  The extended time was due to bumps in the road from Lincoln’s struggles as a preemie.  By the time my fitness was back, Daphne was pregnant again and at high-risk for having another preemie.  The pregnancy went well and I won my first marathon just 8 days before Natalie was born.  She was 29 days premature and spent just a week in the hospital.

There have been other sacrifices along the way.  I once had a video game collection approaching 2000 games, which I sold.  If I can locate the 5-year old photo of my collection, I'll be sure to post it.  Additionally, I only recall playing a video game once in the past six months and that was when my brother visited from Texas.  I don’t watch ESPN or take part in daylong weekend viewing of football.

The two most important parts of this balance is lots of support/understanding from others and choosing priorities.  Certainly, there was some trial-and-error along the way when we were newlyweds and a shift in my priorities was the outcome.  Also, I am truly a lucky man.

Here is my training for the past week.

The week started out with a snowstorm.  I got my run started right at the beginning of it and by the time I finished, there were whiteout conditions and the path was completely covered.  This was also the day after my 8km time trial.  With all things considered, I was thrilled to match the fast end of my long run target zone.  Total: 18 miles – 1:59:55 (6:40 pace)

On Monday, I bounced right back with a 6-miler to start my two-a-day.  With the fresh snow outside, I was back to the ISU indoor track.  It was fairly comfortable and hard to hold back.  By the time the second run came around, the snow had already melted so I made it outdoors for my 4-miler running a short loop onto campus.  Total: 10 miles – 1:15:58 (7:36 pace)

Tuesday was the date of the first high school indoor track meet.  I was able to squeeze in a 7-mile recovery during my lunch.  This run was scheduled for Friday rather.  It made for a harder end to the week, but it was the best I could do.  I covered some hills along 13th Street and felt really good.  Then, at the meet, I added a short 2.5-mile cool down run with CM.  Total: 9.5 miles – 1:12:00 (7:35 pace)

I swapped Wednesday’s and Thursday’s workouts as well.  There’s something about getting home at 12:30AM and being tasked with running 1000-meter repeats that screams, “No way!”  So, I ran the 15-mile long run instead.  I again targeted hills by running Moore Park, Stange, Dakotas, and the AMS bike path.  I took no food/drink on this run and surprisingly felt very good.  Total: 15 miles – 1:39:19 (6:37 pace)

Thursday was a great workout and one of the more challenging track sessions I have undertaken.  I started with a 4-mile warm-up, then I ran a set of 6x1000m repeats with a 600m jog recovery between each.  The goal for the 1000s was 3:12 (which is a 16:00 5k pace).  I ran them in 3:08, 3:07, 3:08, 3:07, 3:08, 3:09.  The recovery time between each was about 3:20.  I ended with a 3-mile cool down.  Total: 13 miles – 1:27:47 (6:44 pace)

I had another 2-a-day for Friday.  I got off to a slow start, so I had to split it 5 miles in the morning and 5 miles in the afternoon.  The first run was Ada Hayden.  It was hard and hurt quite a bit despite a pace of 7:53.  The second was through Brookside park and went and felt much better.  Total: 10 miles – 1:16:41 (7:40 pace)

I ended the week with a semi-long run of 12.5 miles with a few loops at Ada Hayden.  It was very blustery out (25 mph) and I had a hard time running the pace I wanted to without feeling like I was working too hard.  My goal range was 6:40-7:20, so I did okay, but I was pretty surprised by the impact.  Total: 12.5 miles – 1:25:12 (6:48 pace)

For the week (Sun-Sat), I hit 88 miles in 10:16:62 or 7:00/mile.